Magnanimous
by Jugbean
Summary: Daidouji Tomoyo realizes that not only she cannot find herself to hate Li Syaoran, she has learnt to love him like a brother.


Cardcaptor Sakura

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Magnanimous

I couldn't hate Li Syaoran, much as I wanted to.

Back in 5th Grade, I received the misconception that Sakura-chan was everything in my life. The feelings became so intense that my videotapes were only of her and her battles with the Sakura Cards. At home, the VCR was always turned to full volume, and I would lock myself in my room while spending hours and hours till I fall asleep watching Sakura-chan on the screen. I fought at the first chance that I could to do something for Sakura-chan, to make it up for the lack of things I can contribute to her card captor battles. I snatched at the chance to do her make-up during Elementary schooldays, I designed all of her battle costumes. Just so she would bear something of my doings upon her frame.

But I knew all this would change when he stepped in.

Auburn hair, messy tendrils that tend to flop over his matching brown eyes when he walks, ironically never itching his eyes unnecessarily. Green costume in battles with the yin yang symbol etched in the center, a robe lined with yellow. Eyes of determination and fiery strength that spiraled the message : I am not one to give up. A boyish frame that easily resembles a young school child when he dons the Tomoeda Elementary uniforms.

That is the external viewpoint of Li-kun that many sees him as. For me, it was only through numerous conversations, smiles, and heart to heart talks that I knew the true person in him.

That was why I couldn't hate him, even when Sakura-chan became his number one person in his life like mine.

I wanted to help him, not because it was all of sheer sarcasm to spite him and watch and sit back and laugh at his efforts in winning Sakura-chan's heart, but because I wanted to help him fulfil his happiness.

It was through intrigue at the beginning that I wanted to find out more about his feelings. I begin to ask him, on the excuse of wanting to matchmake them. In the end, the pretense wore off, and I begin wholeheartedly helping him to confess to Sakura-chan when the time was ripe.

Li-kun is a very nice boy.

We always had these usual conversations when we walked side by side, and Sakura-chan and Tsukishiro-san would be right in front of us, chit-chatting gaily. Li-kun's gaze would always be focused in front, and I would always ask him…

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"Have you not tell her?"

Pink shades.

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"No."

But I remember that day solely, especially when his answer was elaborated to such an extent, tears stung my eyes at the kindness he was unaware of possessing.

"Have you told her about your feelings?"

This time, we were walking behind Sakura-chan and Tsukishiro-san once more. Li-kun had a scarf around his neck, the one Sakura-chan told me she had knitted for him. It made me slightly envious, but I was happy too for the progress they had made. We were at the fair on this day, and our feet shuffled along the grounds as we followed behind.

Li-kun raised his head up and stared along, sliding his hands into his pockets as his eyes softened once more. He always looked like that when talking about Sakura-chan. It was always so sweet and gentle.

"No. I don't wish to tell her."

My eyes widened, and I hesitated in my pace for a slight moment. I stared up at Li-kun in controlled astonishment.

"Doushite?"

Li-kun shook his head. "She told Yukito-san of her feelings yesterday. She understands the feeling of not being able to be the one whom you loved." Li-kun gave a smile. "If I told her of my feelings, she will only be confused, and upset that she has made me sad. I don't want that to happen."

His perspective of his love for Sakura-chan was so kind and so gentle, I didn't know what to say. Something in his words spurred something in me, and I wasn't surprised when I felt the first tear stinging in my eyes. Li Syaoran was so nice, and his kindness and selfless love only made me soften even more considerably.

I didn't know what to say, but only whisper his name, as if caressing it with sympathy and understanding and awe.

"Li-kun…"

Li-kun smiled as we walked on. His smile was always gentle and soft, not the least bit menacing and could always do enough to calm any doubts in my soul. Li-kun had been almost like a brother to me all this while. In times of danger when we were out assisting Sakura-chan, he would always protect me and ensure my safety. Just like the other time when he had shoved me aside to avoid the onslaught of the charging penguins that came alive in Penguin Park.

I watched as Li-kun walked on, before leaning forward to give his hand a little squeeze. He looked down at me, questions floating in his eyes.

"Nani, Daidouji-san?"

"Demo, Sakura-chan is not one who will let something bother her forever." I eyed him softly and whispered, hoping to help this nice boy in every way I can to achieve his happiness. He was so kind. "At least if you tell her, she will give you an answer."

Li-kun paused for awhile before sliding his hands into his pockets once more, moving onwards as I followed by his side.

There was silence when a soft baritone voice broke out.

"I just don't want my feelings to bother her, Daidouji-san."

My eyes settled over his brown hair, and then moved down to those eyebrows that had taken a sad dip. Loneliness.

Maybe it was because I never had a sibling in my life that I felt so thankful to Li-kun for teaching me that to love someone was to be selfless and be only aware of helping the person you love achieve happiness and live on with a smile.

His soft and gentle demeanor made something in me want to hold him and hug him and cry endlessly.

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My brother.

I never had a brother, and Li-kun - the way he looked right then, selfless and magnanimous for his love to Sakura-chan - made the first tear roll down my eyes.

No, my love for Sakura-chan cannot be compared to something so powerful and blind to any obstacles.

I felt Li-kun squeezed my hand back and I gave him a smile. He returned it, and I could read from his expression that his thoughts were on the same wavelength as mine.

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Arigatou for teaching me the ways, my sister.

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Owari

chiri no tenshi


End file.
